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| Graphic created by Lucas Seidel Design |
Gather 'round the open fire for Chimneyside Chats - a monthly feature with holiday stories from our favorite artists. See what's in their stockings this year as they reminisce on holiday memories, share their favorite recipe and more! Here's what songwriter Cade Hoppe had to say:
I grew up firmly in the Real Tree tribe, so much so that I never questioned the supremacy of that position - never even saw it as a position a person held. It was just the way things were done. Our family wasn’t particularly hardcore on the spectrum of Christmas traditions, but this one held up across many years. Every November we would go to a patch of forest in the mountains outside my hometown in Colorado and harvest a beautiful fir tree (I assume legally). When that got too hectic, we’d go to a local gardening store called Spencer’s and peruse their vast lot for the perfectly imperfect tree.
The house would be filled with the smell of evergreen. We’d change the water in the little basin in the bottom of the stand. We’d sweep up the needles, which eventually would overwhelm the living room. We’d wonder (sometimes aloud) about whether the old strings of lights with their tangibly hot bulbs would ever pose a fire risk. The rites and rituals of the Real Tree tribe.
And yet here I sit, years later, the unapologetic owner of an Artificial Tree made of five discrete pieces to be carefully extracted from their XXL storage duffel and assembled the day after Thanksgiving. No needles falling, no fire hazards posed by the built-in lights, no debate about which way the perfectly symmetrical cone needs to face. No evergreen smell, unless from douglas fir candles (I wouldn’t wish a spill of fake pine scent oil on my worst enemy). No trees harmed in the making of our celebration - unless you want to spin up an environmental impact analysis and have that debate.
How did I get here? Like a frog boiled slowly, I got cooked without being fully aware. I married someone from the Artificial Tree tribe, whose wisdom and pragmatism slowly chipped away at my Real Tree dogma. We got a tiny fake tree when we weren’t going to have an official tree because of travel. Then, one day, we got a huge one at Costco, where we get everything. We just bought it. Despite myself, I must admit that it is beautiful, and as effective at conjuring the Christmas Spirit as any hand-sawed, weirdly shaped forest tree.
But my cognitive dissonance, my decades as part of the Real Tree tribe, needed just a bit more help. So, as I do in situations where I’m struggling to rationalize a decision I’ve made, I wrote a song. It’s called “o Xmas tree” - an adaptation of the classic O Tannenbaum - and it’s about our plastic tree. If the joy of this holiday hinges on whether the tree is “Real” - or for that matter, whether any particular facet of Christmas is “Real” - we’re already in trouble. So I’m going to take a deep breath of (artificial but very convincing) fir tree aroma, and just not worry about it.
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| The mother of all artificial trees |
Learn more about Will Ettante and listen to his song "o Xmas tree" on our Chimneyside Chats playlist!











